I am excited to share that earlier this year I began working on two novels. The details of the second book will stay secret squirrel until I find someone crazy enough to be willing to take a chance on me and publish it, but the first one is actually going to require a small village to write.
It is the story of a woman who meets a man that (unknown to her at the time) has a personality disorder. The personality disorder will, after time, manifest itself by way of the very sinister and misunderstood emotional abusiveness which millions of people worldwide are victim to in their own relationships, most of them completely unawares. The story will give the reader an insight into the tactics which are used by emotional abusers to weaken their partners and slowly unravel their sense of self worth and sanity. I am researching to develop the character of both the emotional abuser in this novel, and the victim.
I am looking for people who have been either a victim of emotional abuse or have been the friend/family to a victim who would be willing to share their story with me via email, telephone or Skype interview. The emotional abuser in question does not necessarily have to have a personality disorder.
It is important to get stories from the friends and family of people who have been emotionally abused. In the novel the reader will identify the methods of abuse the abuser is using and notice the change in the victim long before the victim herself does, as is often true in reality for people on the outside watching a person they love change as a result of emotional abuse.
The importance of gathering information from an array of sources is this: As many men and women who are victim to emotional abuse do not know they are being emotionally manipulated and abused (often feeling like they themselves are crazy) I want ANYONE who reads this who is partners to an emotional abuser to recognise him/her in the abusive character in the novel. Emotional abuse has several very key traits, yet can manifest in an variety of ways within the relationship. No matter how the abuse is manifesting in the relationship of the reader, I want them to be able to recognise it enough in the character of this story to have the red flags go up and seek help and support.
I am also seeking input from counsellors, therapists, life coaches and psychologists who have counselled people through the process of safely escaping an emotionally abusive relationship. The reason for this is: In the story the victim will begin to identify that her partner has been emotionally abusing her and become aware of the character assassination techniques he has been using on her. As she begins to seek liberation from this toxic relationship it is important that the way in which she escapes is sound, wise, safe and thought out. This is so that anyone reading this novel who is in a dangerous and toxic, emotionally and/or physically abusive relationship can follow the footsteps of the victim in this book and in doing so will actually be initiating an exit strategy/coping strategy that is sound.
While abuse CAN and does take the form of physical abuse, it does not HAVE to involve physical abuse to be abuse. Emotional abuse is sinister, dangerous and can be life threatening.
Often men or women in emotionally abusive relationships do not realise they are victims of a very dangerous form of abuse, thinking instead that they are losing their mind.
This book, while written as fiction, is going to essentially be the very true story of the personal struggle through the destructive emotional abuse from the points of view of many survivors, including myself. The more people I can get to share their story with me, the more genuine these two characters will be so if you know of anyone who has been in a relationship with a person who has been emotionally abusive and want to be part of a novel which I hope will liberate men and women from toxic, emotionally destructive relationships then please contact me: firstname.lastname@example.org. All correspondence will remain confidential.
For anyone trying to understand what emotional abuse may look like, take a read of this article.
I will never forget the morning I read this and finally felt validation that I wasn’t going insane, I wasn’t crazy, I had in fact been subjected to years of character assassination by the man I trusted and loved. This article was written as if by me, I have experienced everything in that article and more.
It was scary and enlightening all at the same time.
If you identify with this then my heart goes out to you and I urge you to gather the courage to question it, to seek support. We have one life. Remember that.