I am sitting here trying to see where it began.
If I go back far enough will I find it? If I walk back further along the path will I eventually find a small, worn sign hunched over in the bramble and thorns and thicket that was the path of the last 5 years of my life that reads ‘Danger! Turn back now”? And if I do find that warning will I realize I missed it? What would it all mean then?
Will it mean it could have been prevented?
Will it become my fault, or was this meant to happen to me?
The fingers that are tapping away on this computer are connected to a woman who is more aware than ever of the richness of life, who is thankful for small graces, who is thankful every day for the very life I nearly never had.
Knowing that, can I find purpose in that suffering? Was it all worth it?
This is the story of the undoing.
You already know this story. While you haven’t read it yet, as you do you will realize it is familiar to you because you have seen this story unfold before in either the life of your girlfriend, your daughter, your father, or the person who stares blankly back at yourself from the mirror.
Above are the first words of “The undoing”. My first novel.
It was nearly 4 months ago now that I decided to write the memoir of emotional abuse, not just to share my story, but to share the story of the hundreds who were brave enough to share their recounts of abuse with me.
Today it started to come together and I have in front of me the first page of the novel.
There will be not one circumstance or detail in this book that will be made up. Every account, every moment of suffering and every undoing will be taken from the many mini memoirs which survivors of emotional abuse have shared with me, and of course my own story.
I want to raise awareness of the abuse which is not yet commonly accepted as abuse, yet is the cause of the undoing of millions of people…. some who didn’t make it.
Emotional and psychological abuse is rampant in our society, taking strong men and women captive by a slow and sure undoing of everything they once were.
The novel will be called: ‘The Undoing’
This is, I suspect, one of the most important things I will ever write.
If you are a prayer, pray for me, if you are a thinker, think of me.
I need it, its a tough gig writing about such things.