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Dearests,
My dad has passed away quite suddenly and thrown the world into a shambles. Please bear with me as I take some time off to do the things daughters have to do when their fathers go away.

I’m still here, I’m just going to be a little quiet for a little time…

Thank you for sticking around,
Yours,
Vanessa

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365

600 days! I’ve been a ghost over the last few months, but I have been very much still walking through these 1000 single days and can confirm that I am still as pure as the driven snow, I have made it to day 600 with celibacy still firmly in tact! Yahoo!
I have been neglecting the blog due to the fact that I have been holidaying in New Zealand having the best summer of my entire life. I have never been so happy and have been busy with incredible experiences and I am sorry that I haven’t published an update in so long but hey, I knew the freedom and carefree time of summer would make sticking to the single days pledge a bit harder so I have taken to keeping myself very busy to stay distracted. Oh, I have so many things to tell you about though and have been chipping away on a post when I find spare moments and will try and get that up in the next few days.

I am more content and happy now than I have ever been, now lets get the last 400 days over and done with!

Losing count…

November 3, 2013 — 29 Comments

Where are we? Do the days ever matter anymore?
Have I lost count? Yes.
When? I don’t remember. Probably around the time that I realized that it wasn’t about the days anymore, it wasn’t about counting down as if day 1000 was the goal. That day 1000 may never come just as tomorrow may never come as just as planning for the future keeps us facing the future, you cant place the future on a pedestal as being the point. Because it isn’t the point.

Now is the point. Just now.

Continue Reading…

Half way baby

October 19, 2013 — 16 Comments

365

 

I cant believe the date passed me by and I didn’t know it! On October 19th it was day: 500
My mother said that it has been so long since I had written and people may think I have ‘fallen off the wagon’ so to speak so before I go home now and write to you all properly I want to celebrate this moment with you and just let you know that there has been no falling off any wagon. I have just done 500 single days as true as I had promised I would on day one.
I have so much to tell you, oh so much! If I have learned anything these past 500 days it would be this: Life can change in a moment.
My next post will go into all the details and I will begin writing that now. HALF WAY BABY!

Vanessa’s riddle

September 10, 2013 — 31 Comments

Little helmets arch toward
Keen to keep the moving forward
Bellies pressing, pressing more
Unto the restless splintered floor
A hundred, thousand, million strides
A million more, wont see us tired
Splinter, bruise and callous healed
Faithful, tiny battle shields

What am I?

Its been so long since I really wrote anything and for a while it was because I felt too far away from my own mind to do so, and then when I came back to my mind I found so many thoughts collected there, and just like standing before a scattered deck of cards, I didn’t know where to begin sorting through it all so I just stood there and stared at it all for weeks.
All those thoughts…

Continue Reading…

The Labyrinth worm

August 15, 2013 — 13 Comments

Image

Oh my little Labyrinth worm
It looks there is no place to turn
Just walls and walls of never ending
An endless path of never bending
No miss, you must face the walls 
for in the walls are hidden doors…

-Vanessa Katsoolis (My nod to one of the greatest movies of all time, ‘Labirynth‘)

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Me on our beautiful South Coast beach, Australia at sunset.

There is a scripture, which I think of sometimes. “He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”

I consider what people suggest life is about. I consider too how even those with all the ingredients for happiness: A family, job security and a place to call home, can then be struck with depression or ill health and so I wonder how then can someone truly be at peace, and if they can, where would they find it?

Continue Reading…

Things.

June 15, 2013 — 41 Comments

Things that can make me happy:
Orange juice
Watching someone try to whistle after getting a tooth filling
Knowing all the words to a song
Olive oil
The smell of the smoke after you blow out a match
The way my son doesn’t believe that I understand his jokes
The sing-song way the women talk in old movies
Spagetti
Fire
Films that change my life
Photographs of people doing something they always wanted to do
Live music
That cows have best friends

Things that can’t make me happy:
Things.

365

One year passes me by. And yes, I have remained true.
635 days to go….

Life can be cruel, but it is cruel and hard on everyone in different ways. If you grew up in a shitty environment with people who treated you with disdain and cruelty and down right neglect and abuse then this is horrible. Its understandable to be hurt and then battle with confusion and disfunction as a result through your childhood and teenage years but you know what? Come adulthood turn and face that thing head on.
There is nothing that no scumbag mum or dad or uncle or upbringing can do to truly defeat you unless at some point you give up, and if you give up because it was all too much, then maybe no one could even fault you for that, but if you use that scum bag of a father or scumbag of a mother or scumbag of an upbringing to then JUSTIFY treating another human being with neglect and abuse and generally being a scum bag yourself, then you have lost a leg to stand on.
Man up/woman up and learn about accountability.
The greatest men and women in our history have created that history with nothing more than the memories of tragedy/abuse/loss/stolen innocence and an understanding that at some point you have the choice to either stop the cycle, or to keep being a scumbag.
Dont be a scumbag.

Small

April 23, 2013 — 161 Comments

“Your blog has gone kinda quiet of late” He said. “I know” I said.

So here I am, with nothing much to say but with a sense that I should say it anyway.

I write this now from a plain. You know whenever you embark on something they all say to you ‘oh you will see the mountains and you will see the plains’ So this must be the plain. I wish there was a way to write a shrug of the shoulders. You know? When someone asks you how you are or how you’re doing and you don’t speak, you just shrug your shoulders? This post is a shoulder shrug. Its a blah. Its plain.
I credit this to one thing. Depression. Continue Reading…

The undoing

April 9, 2013 — 67 Comments

I am sitting here trying to see where it began.
If I go back far enough will I find it? If I walk back further along the path will I eventually find a small, worn sign hunched over in the bramble and thorns and thicket that was the path of the last 5 years of my life that reads ‘Danger! Turn back now”? And if I do find that warning will I realize I missed it? What would it all mean then?
Will it mean it could have been prevented?
Will it become my fault, or was this meant to happen to me?

The fingers that are tapping away on this computer are connected to a woman who is more aware than ever of the richness of life, who is thankful for small graces, who is thankful every day for the very life I nearly never had.
Knowing that, can I find purpose in that suffering? Was it all worth it?

This is the story of the undoing.
My undoing.
You already know this story. While you haven’t read it yet, as you do you will realize it is familiar to you because you have seen this story unfold before in either the life of your girlfriend, your daughter, your father, or the person who stares blankly back at yourself from the mirror.

Continue Reading…

A call for your story

March 19, 2013 — 81 Comments

I am excited to share that earlier this year I began working on two novels. The details of the second book will stay secret squirrel until I find someone crazy enough to be willing to take a chance on me and publish it, but the first one is actually going to require a small village to write.
It is the story of a woman who meets a man that (unknown to her at the time) has a personality disorder. The personality disorder will, after time, manifest itself by way of the very sinister and misunderstood emotional abusiveness which millions of people worldwide are victim to in their own relationships, most of them completely unawares. The story will give the reader an insight into the tactics which are used by emotional abusers to weaken their partners and slowly unravel their sense of self worth and sanity. I am researching to develop the character of both the emotional abuser in this novel, and the victim.

Continue Reading…

use

Lord give me strength to write this in a way that the reader whose eyes are scanning over these words right at this moment will see the heart behind the fingers which writes them and may their own heart love the woman whose story I am about to tell…

This happened to me today. This story I am about to tell you unfolded in my own home not even 4 hours ago.
Here goes:

Continue Reading…

Life is beautiful

November 28, 2012 — 112 Comments

Gold Coast, QLD – Ulladulla, NSW
2 young boys, 1 gal and one hell of an adventure.

Continue Reading…

I thought I would touch base as I haven’t posted in a long while now and have also got emails and comments going un-replied and I hate ignoring the site but I wouldn’t do so for no good reason…. I am moving house!
This little lady all on her own has taken on the task of moving herself, two boys and everything she owns to somewhere new. It’s easier said than done I can tell you that much.
I have also pulled a typical Vanessa move and decided that I will not be getting a handy man in to do all the scheduled maintenance and repair jobs, but rather, I will do it myself thank you very much. So I am sunburnt and very exhausted at the moment from spending the last several days in the sun working away at jobs designed for strong, male hands, lifting things too heavy for my skinny, quivering little arms and learning how to fix the lights one electric shock at a time.
The interesting detail about this whole move business is that I don’t actually have a place to move into yet…..
My lease is up on the 4th of December (yes, this year…. yes, less than 6 days away) and I have to be out by then.
The thing is, it seems to be a lot harder to find a home in a safe, affordable area than I remember…

I have found a few good potentials, and then hurriedly binned my application when I saw the neighbours. One sitting on the front porch smoking a filterless cigarette and wolf whistling at the children and the other? A woman carrying what seemed to be the worlds obesity epidemic in its entirety on her shoulders while she screamed in the house ‘Honey Boo Boo you git yer butt down here we got to go get us some more of them leaflet bundles so we can get snippin them coupons so we can save MONAAAAAAAAAAAAY’

Sure the rent was reasonable… but you know…

So that’s the dilemma. Moving in a matter of days with currently no forwarding address. But you know what? I’m not worried because it’s going to work out just fine, I know it. And if it doesn’t, well I will just tell the kids that we are going to go camping for like, a really, really long time.

So thats the news. If anyone owns a home on the Gold Coast and wants to just, oh I don’t know, GIVE IT TO ME, then please feel free to contact me. Otherwise you all enjoy your week and pray that the next post I put up isn’t while stealing the wireless internet from the Macdonald’s while I sit it a cardboard box, warming my hands on the burning tire pile and hissing at the stray cats. 🙂

Love you all

UPDATE: An hour after posting this: This happened….Life is beautiful

Watch her thrive

November 21, 2012 — 28 Comments


The Watch Her Thrive Project is an organisation that has been established to give a voice and aid to women in war torn countries. This year I will be working with the Watch Her Thrive Project by contributing to a collaborative book containing stories on hope, courage and strength, which will be published and sold to raise money for these women.

Continue Reading…

Good morning!
I was interviewed by New Jersey station “Rowan Radio” 89.7 earlier this week for their ‘Womens room’ segment to discuss onethousandsingledays.com and what i’ve learnt so far.
I am continued to be humbled that the lessons I have learnt through my life experiences could have the power to speak to people beyond my physical reach.
Many thanks to Allie Volpe and to Rowan Radio!
You can listen to the interview online HERE