Archives For Hope

I decided I would walk back to my Hotel that day, even though I had spent all day and most of my money shopping and my shoulders were aching from the weight of the bags. Flagging down a tuk-tuk would made the trip quick and easy and with the unbearable heat rising up from the sidewalk and bouncing off the city walls and radiating down from above it is a wonder I chose to walk that day but at the time I decided that I would like to wander through the alley ways and stalls and nod my head in greeting to the people of Sukhumvit Road and thats all it was at the time. But it is only in retrospect that we see the significance of seemingly small decisions such as these. We don’t realise how our preferences, no matter how small, act as the fingers and the palms and the curves and the creases of hands to clay on a spinning potters wheel. Every single movement, no matter how slight changes the shape of the clay… just as every step favoured over the other, or every appointment made in favour of the previous day, or the day after can alter the shape of our life.

And so with choosing to drag those heavy bags upon my tired shoulders on weary legs through the streets of Bangkok that day I didn’t know that it would mean meeting him, and in meeting him, I didn’t know it would change something in me for the rest of my life.

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A call for your story

March 19, 2013 — 81 Comments

I am excited to share that earlier this year I began working on two novels. The details of the second book will stay secret squirrel until I find someone crazy enough to be willing to take a chance on me and publish it, but the first one is actually going to require a small village to write.
It is the story of a woman who meets a man that (unknown to her at the time) has a personality disorder. The personality disorder will, after time, manifest itself by way of the very sinister and misunderstood emotional abusiveness which millions of people worldwide are victim to in their own relationships, most of them completely unawares. The story will give the reader an insight into the tactics which are used by emotional abusers to weaken their partners and slowly unravel their sense of self worth and sanity. I am researching to develop the character of both the emotional abuser in this novel, and the victim.

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I thought I would tell you the very strange and curious story of the baby named Baby. Some of the things you are about to read will sound too strange to be true, but it is this story that will prove that sometimes truth can indeed be stranger than fiction, and I know that everything in this story is true, as the baby is me, and the story is mine.

I call this tale, “The baby named Baby.”

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Watch her thrive

November 21, 2012 — 28 Comments


The Watch Her Thrive Project is an organisation that has been established to give a voice and aid to women in war torn countries. This year I will be working with the Watch Her Thrive Project by contributing to a collaborative book containing stories on hope, courage and strength, which will be published and sold to raise money for these women.

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Qualification: Pain

September 23, 2012 — 212 Comments

Her file is heavy, thick and pregnant with the details of over a decade of brokenness, pain, confusion and hopelessness.
I have been watching her for four days while she wanders though the hallways and the courtyard like a ghost without a plan. She breathes and moves and sees and knows to pause for the food cart and to step aside for a busy nurse, yet there is no one home. She is alive yet not alive. Not living, just existing.
In the hope I might be able to understand what would cause a woman so young to be so burdened, I pull her file and begin to read. I open up the transcript of her most recent admission interview. It makes no sense, her words are strung against words which were never meant to be partnered, it is nonsense and it is tragic. A woman admitted so mentally ill and tormented that the only verbal response she can give to any question is one that describes the fear of death and the certainty that the world is at an end. ‘Even if I tell you my name I will die
Diagnosis: Schizophrenia.

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